When is Honesty a Good Virtue or Destructive?

Photo by batega @ flickr

From Denny: The word "honesty" is often batted about like a cheap tennis ball these days. Many people use it as an excuse to be cruel to others for in so doing they think they have taken away someone else's power and gained a step above the one they hurt. It's a sick dance and it's pretty amazing how many people are willing to participate in such a relationship. Too often those are close relationships like parent and child or spouses. No one seems to stop long enough to realize the destructive pattern and then they wonder why they are so unhappy in life.

Honesty does have another side to it in the form of living your own life in Truth. Often it does entail taking a long hard look in the mirror and making changes on the heart level. Honesty is a big help when you are going through that transformation process.

Honesty is best delivered first to self, then to others. And when you are thinking about delivering honesty to others ask yourself one question: Do they really want to hear this? Most times the answer is No, not really.

But what about the friend whose husband is cheating on her? Answer: You don't tell her. You know why? Because she will refuse to believe you. Then the second step is that after she finds out you were telling her the truth she will hate you for telling her. End of your relationship as she reconciles with her annoying husband. I've seen that situation play out time and time again.

We all want to desperately tell our good friends when someone is "doing them wrong." The problem is the vast majority of people are not yet ready to hear - and when they are at that place in their life when they are ready - it will be revealed without your intervention. Your job as a good friend is to wait patiently until your friend comes to you and tells you all about it, seeking comfort from you. Most people do want comfort and sympathy - and will accept it.

Quotes

"No legacy is so rich as honesty." - William Shakespeare

"Honesty is the cruelest game of all, because not only can you hurt someone - and hurt them to the bone - you can feel self-righteous about it at the same time." - Dave Van Ronk

What Do You Do to Reach Enlightenment and Then Afterward?

Supreme Court Chief Justice Frederick Vinson Image via Wikipedia

Alonzo E. Lyon in about 1905 at age 25. He did not become my grandfather until age 80.

From Denny: I've always liked this quote. What's interesting is that my Christian Grand Dad from Kentucky, who had never heard of Zen, taught me the same concept through his wisdom AND his attitude AND his actions - something completely lost on his own son and other grandchildren, even arrogantly dismissed and ignored.

I was the only kid who liked to literally sit at his feet and listen to his tales of his youth, his farming and other business adventures and finally the wisdom of what he had learned in this life. He was one of those rare individuals who read the Bible literally every day as he found great Joy in doing so - yet he never was a finger-in-your-face kind of man. Grand Dad really understood the true messages from Jesus, unlike so many of his time period.

As I was doing some family genealogy I found out many things about my grandfather he never publicized. During his time he felt God blessed him with wealth and, therefore, it was his job to be responsible with that wealth and do a lot in the community. He didn't do that on a flashy basis with his name on a million buildings and show off at public events. He did it one person at a time - just like Jesus.

Basically, he functioned in the office of Apostle as he helped so many people from so many walks of life when they experienced hard times. Then those people went out and passed it forward to help others too.

He was a childhood best friend of a Supreme Court Chief Justice (Vinson) who was deciding about civil rights and segregation. That Justice used to come home to Kentucky and go fishing with Grand Dad (Alonzo Lyon). I know my grandfather; he would not let any moment pass to press for the civil rights of African-Americans. He was horrified and disgusted at the treatment of returning WWII black veterans.

Grand Dad also pressed for women's rights as he considered women " the best of mankind." What a unique attitude for his time! He was the parent - and the inspiration - my father never chose to be. Grand Dad often called him down on his bad attitude, especially toward women, "there was no call for that, not even with children."

Women loved his company. Children flocked to him as I often strolled with him around the neighborhood every summer to share him with the other kids who had grandparents who were indifferent to children. Every summer he was like the local celebrity!

Well into his late 80's he made friends with the local five-year-olds. When questioned about that practice he would reply, "I've outlived my wife, my friends and most of my family including my twin. Besides, you make friends with every generation." With a huge knowing smile and a wink in his eye, "It won't be that long before this little boy will be a young man and we can go fishing together!" He definitely was "a fisher of men."

Quote

"Before enlightenment - chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment - chop wood, carry water." ~ Zen Buddhist Proverb

How to Truly Do the Art of Listening

Listening History Graph Image by Corporal Cacaphony (ClintJCL) via Flickr

From Denny: Here's a tricky one that reads like a "word problem" from high school math class! It reminds me so much of the typical Asian spiritual adept when teaching...

"I tell you everything that is really nothing, and nothing of what is everything, do not be fooled by what I am saying. Please listen carefully and try to hear what I am not saying." ~ Charles C. Finn

What to be Careful of When Using Your Imagination!

Gigantic Reflections Image by PONCE 2007 via Flickr

From Denny: Leave it to Goethe to instruct us how to best use our imagination! :) This guy was forever entertaining. The photo is a pretty cool pairing with this quote too!

“There is nothing more frightful than imagination without taste.” - Goethe

What Can Make You Wiser Than the Truth?

Image via Wikipedia

From Denny: Since I was a child I've had a love of quotations. Never have I seen anything like this quote expressed! It's the kind of quote that takes a bit of life experience to know that it is true as many of us have wrestled with it whether as children or as adults. Your life is more difficult if you do not learn this life skill - the sooner the better - and it can apply in personal relationships or business.

"Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth." ~ Ludwig Börne

Here is an interesting "I'm trying to figure this all out" article, enjoy!

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• The illusion of control (museditions.wordpress.com)

What is the Most Successful Action of Love?

Portrait of Goethe Image via Wikipedia

From Denny: Goethe's writings sometimes can be difficult to wrap your brain around at times. This has to be one of the clearest things he ever said - and so beautiful in its simplicity and truthfulness! :)

“Love does not dominate; it cultivates.” ~ Goethe

3 Kinds of Men to Honor

Peace sign Photo by Steve Rhodes @ flickr

COURAGEOUS

Today is Father’s Day on the calendar and I will be thinking of them throughout this week, we choose this day to honor the good examples of quality men who have influenced our lives beneficially. Most people reflect upon a father, a brother, an uncle, a grandfather, a husband, a good and trusted friend, even a mentor.



Neda killed by the police - Photo by Steve Rhodes @ flickr

Iran Protestors

Considering the political unrest in Iran going on I reflected upon the good men in Iran. These are men who are standing up against injustice and working toward a quality and trustworthy government, willing to give their lives in that pursuit. As a woman, and knowing the negatives in their harsh culture, what has impressed me the most about the male protestors was their willingness to march along side the women (termed the Lipstick Revolution). They also are willing to advance women’s rights.

Even more so, in a public demonstration, they have chosen to go to the defense of women that are strangers to them and not family related. In other words, they choose to be compassionate for the literally downtrodden, for the current harsh regime has ordered their police to target the women first and beat them savagely, kill them as well.

There have been video and cell phone photos released of men running to aid the women as they died. Now that’s a class act and certainly touches my heart for their public courage risks their own lives and that of their families. Yet, they chose to be heroes because someone was vulnerable and in need.



Soldier with peace symbol in hand Photo by Jayel Aheram @ flickr

Troops in Iraq and Afghanistan

I think of our American troops in this protracted war the public wants us to end and how this too long of a stressor has taken a huge toll. Suicides are way up the past year from returning troops and those still in the field. PTSD is rampant and difficult to treat. These men (and women) are someone’s parent, spouse, brother (or sister), uncle (or aunt), best friend and mentor.

They also deserve our thoughts and prayers to sustain them during their tough life test. Spiritual testing is often longer than we think we can endure yet eventually we come out on the other side. These troops have the courage to go on when they think they cannot move another step and yet they move forward anyway. Human beings really are not hard-wired for long-term stressful situations like war.



Contemplation Photo by alicepopkorn @ flickr

COMPASSIONATE

Today I also reflect upon a wonderful European friend I met while on my travels a decade ago. He is a Carmelite monk by the name of Brother Peter in Austria. What is unique about him is that he works tirelessly with the folks who fall between the cracks of the social network be they refugees (Islamic or Christian) or locals who can’t pay the rent because the husband has a gambling problem. Most of all he spends intensive hours battling the severe rampant depression of suicidal people in his area. He works without notice for what will not bring him status or riches in the world.

Brother Peter is joined with the local Jewish community to help reestablish the Jewish population in Austria that was decimated during WWII and works toward improving Christian and Jewish relations. He is a humble man, a kind man, a sincere man. Most of all he is a loving man like the true Jesus he follows.

I’ve always had a soft spot for monks. They are the global intercessors for Peace. They pray FOR people of all races, religions and misunderstanding - not AGAINST them. As an intercessor I can relate to my Carmelite monk friends and well understand the importance of their life long mission.

Brother Peter had a birthday in April but somehow Father’s Day seemed more appropriate a day to honor his service to others. The man would make a great Pope as he definitely has a heart for the people. I count him a treasured friend!



Father and infant son asleep Photo by *clairity* @ flickr

NURTURING

Recently, I happened upon a new blog by a father of ten children. What a treat! The Mommy blogs are popular and prolific, many a delight to read. This blog is a unique perspective from the dad, one with a huge brood of children. Take a look at his amusing and clever blog post that was published in a local newspaper: Father of 10 Turns Bathtime into a Career.

While I could go on with many other wonderful examples like my cool paternal grandfather whose spiritual legacy I carry with delight, a Taoist spiritual master in Taiwan where in his culture they never trained women, especially teenage Americans - he proclaimed me his student of a lifetime, quite an honor - and the tough guy military mentors I had growing up – the kind that don’t like women but took a shine to me, adored my hutzpah and chose to train me in the unorthodox, hence, the name “Warriors’ Pearl,” I’ll save those stories for another time. Know that you are all in my heart as treasures…

How Perceptive Are You?

Photo by muha... @ flickr

From Denny: This quote made me smile at its truth! We have all been there, sigh...

"The obscure we see eventually. The completely obvious, it seems, takes longer." ~ Edward R. Murrow, newsman

How Did The "You" Come to Be?

Lord Tennyson Image via Wikipedia

From Denny: Continuing along the vein of yesterday's fabulous and mystical quote, this quote can be meditated upon two levels.

You can think of it as a life-long education from all the people with whom you have interacted. You can also think of this on a spiritual level of interaction - that you have absorbed those bits and pieces you have incorporated into your being to make you strong in life!

"I am a part of all that I have met." ~ Alfred Lord Tennyson

Do You Wonder Why Some People Cannot Hear You?

Image by kevindooley via Flickr

From Denny: When people are arguing politics, culture, social issues or government have they stopped to consider this quote? It easily explains why the hard-hearted, selfish and self-absorbed do not have the maturity to respond positively to what is for the good of all... Very profound quote!

"Only that in you which is me can hear what I'm saying." ~ Baba Ram Dass

New Blog Look!

From Denny: Have spent the day fine-tuning the new blog template. It's just so much fun (not!) when you have to go back to the original sites and generate and install a new code for one thing: the original no longer fits in the new column, too large or too small, the Amazon store and the visitor counter and more. Simple to do but time-consuming. Hopefully, I've gotten all the details. My eyeballs look like a Halloween scary mask, all blood shot! :) (Hmmm... is this where I'm supposed to whine and whine some more...?)

Why did I decide to change the look? She must be crazy, you tell yourself silently in your own head. (You are right, BTW.) Actually, Himalman of Himalman's Weblog suggested I change my template. He even provided the link to a great template site.

After a couple of hours (remember there are 12 blogs now) of pouring over pages of great interesting templates for the Blogger platform, I downloaded a bunch of them, all excited to get started. One by one, none of them were accepted to upload to Blogger, even though all were compatible with my browser. Great... now what? Well, after studying the best for so long by then I realized I could do something close to the preferred templates - and set about redesigning the blogs by using Blogger's established templates.

Hope you enjoy the new look and find the navigation much easier! Thanks for visiting! And me? I'll be the guy at the drug store buying eye drops so I won't scare the neighborhood children...

When Life Gets Tough: Do This Funny Thing!

Photo by Red Nose Day 2009 @ flickr - The countdown has begun to the BT Red Nose Climb - nine celebrities climbing 19,000 feet to scale Africa's highest mountain: Kilimanjaro! Click on the photo link to find out who they are.

Image by Red Nose Day 2009 via Flickr

From Denny: Since it's the weekend, here's a little funny to make you smile. Check out the official bozo the clown Red Nose Day of 2009 photo, cute!

"When things look dark, hold your head high so it can rain up your nose." - Anonymous

How Does Music Speak What Words Cannot?

Man striking stalactite formation with his knuckles to produce musical notes Image via Wikipedia

From Denny: Definitely qualifies as weird but interesting! This photo takes the cake on what you can utilize to make music AND its a natural substance, standing ready to be played. You sure can't buy this musical instrument in any music shop! :) How did this guy ever figure out he could make music from this place?

"Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent." - Victor Hugo

What Priority Do You Give Love? One Thought.

"Love is when the other person's happiness is more important than your own." - H. Jackson Browne

How Would You Describe the Impact of Words?

From Denny: This quote creates a beautiful mind image while it is equally penetrating insight.

"A word is not a crystal, transparent and unchanging; it is the skin of living thought and changes from day to day as does the air around us." - Oliver Wendell Holmes.

Do You Regularly Reconsider What You Believe to be True?

Snowy Owl Image via Wikipedia

From Denny: I've always found this quote to be true as time passes. If we are making the effort - well as taking the time to observe our personal inner growth - we notice this observation about our perception to be true.

Always take some time every week to reconsider what you believe to be true. You may be urprised when that small still voice of your spirit gives you an awareness of how Life is so many shades of gray rather than the dictatorial ease of only black and white!

“I have lived in this world just long enough to look carefully the second time into things that I am most certain of the first time.” - Josh Billings

What Possesses and Controls You?

Image via Wikipedia

From Denny: Boy, this is an interesting way to phrase a philosophy, especially the second line! This quote brought to mind those kudzu vines I used to see and battle in my own backyard when I lived in Atlanta, Georgia.

Kudzu was originally imported from China in the 1930's to feed cattle since it was a fast growing vine. It easily grows a foot a day! It tends to take over where unattended like roadsides and farm pastures. Kudzu laughs at weed killers and grows on past their futile attempts.

These days the smart people have learned to just harvest the root. Why? The Japanese love kudzu root as they use it for a thickener as we use cornstarch to thicken our gravies. I guess if you can't kill it; harvest it! :)

Here's the awesome quote that gives a lot of food for thought (could not resist the pun, pardon me, it's Monday!)

"Complete possession is proved only by giving. All you are unable to give possesses you." - Andre Gide

The Happiness Philosophy

“It’s not how much we have, but how much we enjoy that makes happiness.”– Unknown

Photo by StuSeeger @ flickr

What is the Best Way to Travel Toward Happiness?

From Denny: You have got to see the photo paired with this quote! It will make you smile!

“Happiness is not a station you arrive at, but a manner of traveling.” — Margaret Lee Runbeck

Photo by Sabrina Capagna @ flickr

How Do You Realistically Get Happiness?

“How we feel about ourselves, the joy we get from living, ultimately depends directly on how the mind filters and interprets everyday experiences. Whether we are happy depends on inner harmony, not on the controls we are able to exert over the great forces of the universe.” – Mihaly Csikszentmihaly

Photo by Frazzled Jen @ flickr
(she likes to take photos of her 4 sons)

Interesting Conversation: Consciousness, Thoughts and the Brain

Another friend of mine over at flickr who is awesome! Image by alicepopkorn via Flickr

Consciousness, Thoughts and the Brain: "This is a cyber conversation I had with a friend that was thought provoking and stimulating. I wanted to share it with you, perhaps it will tweek your own thoughtforms."

By Jewels @ HubPages

From Denny: I love items like this as they are rare to find. Sometimes you can suddenly happen upon some of the most interesting conversations! Thanks, Jewels, for sharing this one with us. Many people have questions as they study meditation on a deeper level; the idea of what thoughts are comes up often. You will enjoy this read and the comments below it!

How Does Unhappiness Happen? One Answer.

From Denny: Now here is something revolutionary for those who are just beginning the path of self-development. It really does explain the role of family and national culture and how it can affect our happiness quotient!



“There is only one cause of unhappiness: the false beliefs you have in your head, beliefs so widespread, so commonly held, that it never occurs to you to question them.” — Anthony de Mello

Where is Happiness Located?

From Denny: Nothing could be more true than this quote as those who have worked hard to earn it know it to be true! Love this photo from flickr friend cuellar as the tiny snail is like a symbol for happiness floating into the center of the flower. The flower symbolizes the center of you!

“All seasons are beautiful for the person who carries happiness within.” — Horace Friess

Photo by cuellar @ flickr